An interesting dating story was relayed to me last week about a friend of my co-worker. She was eager to suggest a dilemma for my “Is This Petty?” column, and it was all about interacting with an ex or their family when you’re in a new relationship. I jumped at the chance to hear it.
Basically, the friend, who we’ll call Morgan, was in an on-again, off-again relationship with the father of her child over the last few years. Unfortunately, they could never seem to make things work for the long-term, so Morgan recently decided to move on. She’s currently dating a new guy who she seems to be very much into, and all, in terms of their romance, is well.
There’s only one problem: Her hair.
According to my friend, Morgan’s go-to hairstylist moved down South to pursue his dream of opening his own shop in his hometown. Because of that, Morgan has been searching far and wide for someone to do her hair and do it well. There is one woman she knows for sure is talented enough to do it, and that’s the aforementioned ex’s sister.
Somehow, her plan to reach out to her ex-boyfriend and the father of her child’s sibling came up during a conversation with her new boyfriend. She didn’t think anything of it because this is her son’s aunt we’re talking about, she’s a stylist — it’s nothing. However, the response she received wasn’t what she expected. According to my friend, Morgan’s boyfriend wasn’t comfortable with the idea and told her she needed to look elsewhere. Not recommended by the way, but told her that it was a hell no to that idea. In fact, he told her that he didn’t really like the idea of her interacting with her ex or her ex’s family outside of things that have to do with her son.
Not wanting to stir the pot too much in her burgeoning relationship, Morgan decided to keep looking. My friend ended up obtaining all of this tea because Morgan reached out to her for stylist recommendations.
I don’t know what your immediate thought about all of this is, but when I was told the story, my first response was “That’s super petty.” I can understand being leery of interactions between her and the ex, but his sister? And for a simple hair appointment? Really?
It’s one thing to feel a way about people being too close for comfort with their exes, but it’s important that when a person enters a relationship with someone who has a child, they’re clear and comfortable with the fact that until said child is 18, the co-parent will remain in their partner’s life in some facet. Per the story I was told, Morgan’s relationship with this guy is fresh out of the box, so he likely hasn’t been given any real reason to get upset about the ex. (Well, aside from the fact that their relationship was on again, off again for years.) And considering that Morgan is just seeking some TLC for her hair, reaching out to meet up with his sister won’t yield anything but a new hairdo. So what’s the problem?
Insecurity — if you ask me. For one, the fact that he didn’t just tell her that interactions with her ex’s sister made him uncomfortable, but rather, told her it wasn’t okay for her to meet up with the woman, screams of controlling. And if interacting with someone of the same bloodline as her ex makes him that uncomfortable, he really needs to ask himself why and get all of that in check ASAP. Because honestly, if it’s an issue for something as trivial as getting one’s hair done, considering that there is a child in the picture connected to these people he wants her to limit her time with, it’s likely going to be an even bigger issue for just about everything else…
But as always, that’s just my opinion. What say you? Is it petty for Morgan’s boyfriend to be uncomfortable with her getting her hair done by her ex’s sister?
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