Are You Dangerously Close To Having An Emotional Affair?

[caption id="attachment_744950" align="alignleft" width="1068"] Shutterstock.com/snuggling couple[/caption] You know that kissing, sleeping with, or really having any physical affection of a sexual nature with another person is cheating. Since many of us draw the line there and know we wouldn’t go there, we think we are clear to do just about anything else up to that line. But there is a dangerous gray area that lingers right before you get to the physical cheating line, and that’s where emotional cheating happens. We tend to gravitate towards emotional affairs when we are currently in a bad relationship. We don’t necessarily notice the emotional affair starting; all we notice is the contrast of how we feel around this other person, and how we feel around our partner. If you feel unhappy around your partner, you’ll naturally want to spend more and more time with the person you feel happy around to offset the pain. And that’s where emotional affairs begin. Are you dangerously close to having an emotional affair? Here are some signs to look out for. [caption id="attachment_717973" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You’d rather be with someone other than your partner

When you know your partner is waiting at home for you, you order one more drink at the after-work happy hour to be around this other person. You’d even stay at work late, doing meaningless tasks, to hang out with them, rather than go home and have dinner with your partner. [caption id="attachment_714751" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

And you’re finding ways to do that

You are making up reasons to be around this person, whether it’s needing their help with a task, or insisting they could use your help with something. [caption id="attachment_729091" align="alignnone" width="1068"] shutterstock[/caption]

You bring this person when you should bring your partner

You’re giving your second ticket to the show to this person, insisting your partner wouldn’t have liked it. But what about the days you’d drag your partner along so that you could be together? [caption id="attachment_713303" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You don’t tell your partner when you talk to them

If you’re on Facebook chat with the person when your partner calls and asks what you’re up to, you say “Not much” or “Just on Facebook, ” but you don’t tell the whole truth. [caption id="attachment_625047" align="alignleft" width="427"] Corbis[/caption]

You’re sad when he's not where he usually is

If you usually see this person at work, and they’re not at work one day, you’re sad for that entire day. In fact, you really cannot enjoy the day. [caption id="attachment_721349" align="alignleft" width="455"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You dress up to see him

You think about this person when picking out your outfits and doing your makeup. You look extra good if you know you’ll be spending a lot of time around him. [caption id="attachment_703765" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You don’t stop him from saying inappropriate things

This person says things he shouldn’t, like that you’re gorgeous, that he should be your boyfriend, and that your boyfriend is all wrong for you. And while you haven’t asked him to say these things, you also haven’t put a stop to it. [caption id="attachment_717203" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

He's showing up in your dreams

You’ve started having dreams about this person at night. They range from sexual, to simply being together and being really happy. [caption id="attachment_707725" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

He's showing up in your daydreams, too

This person is also showing up in your daydreams—you know, those thoughts you actually have plenty of control over. [caption id="attachment_693399" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You’re failing to be there for your partner

If your partner tells you he needs you at an event for emotional support, you still find an excuse to be where the other guy is, instead. You knowingly leave your partner hanging when he needs you. [caption id="attachment_720794" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You’re comparing your partner to him

When your partner does something you don’t like, you think about how the other person would have handled the situation so much better. [caption id="attachment_709038" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You feel uncomfortable when your partner mentions him

If your partner brings up the other guy, you become uncomfortable. You fidget, you talk fast, you change the subject, and you become nervous. [caption id="attachment_695809" align="alignleft" width="514"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You’re jealous if he dates

You’re very jealous at the thought of this person being with somebody else. You even find yourself being a bit nasty to the women they date.   [caption id="attachment_699115" align="alignleft" width="421"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You tell him things before telling your partner

You call this other person to tell him when you have good news, or to get comfort when you have bad news. [caption id="attachment_622663" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You tell him things you don’t even tell your partner

You even tell him things you’ve never told your partner, and never intend to. Hey, we all have things we don’t tell our partners, but we tell our best friends or our families instead—not some new guy. [caption id="attachment_626809" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You don’t want your partner and this person in the same room

You’ll do anything to keep your partner and the other guy away from each other. Why? Because you secretly know your partner will think something is up if he sees you interact with the other guy. [caption id="attachment_717702" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You could see yourself happy with that person

You tally up the ways you are compatible and have genuinely thought about what life would be like if this other guy were suddenly your boyfriend. [caption id="attachment_711204" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You know this person likes you

This person has confessed that he likes you, or come close enough, and you haven’t cut off the friendship. In fact, the confession made you very happy. [caption id="attachment_721465" align="alignleft" width="414"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You accuse your partner of having an emotional affair

Projection, anybody? To deal with your own feelings of guilt about your emotional affair, you begin accusing your partner of having one. [caption id="attachment_713452" align="alignleft" width="414"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You’re wondering if you’re having an emotional affair

The mere fact that you had a hunch you may be having one probably means that you are having one.

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